new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So squirting runs in the family.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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