how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
