Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
