I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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