just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you made out with another girl for some wings
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
