After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize