They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize