Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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