Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
