That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
