i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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