i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
