Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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