was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
