When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize