I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
