Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize