He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
