We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
