All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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