My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
