my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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