I skipped work to stalk him.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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