When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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