guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
