if i can run in heels then i can drive
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
