I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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