Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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