Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We need to get me chipped asap
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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