I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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