just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
