She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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