it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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