I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
