Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
