This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
