ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
