Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
