is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
