Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Holy shit dude........stairs
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
