Having a random hookup so left but love u
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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