He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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