Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
