omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
