What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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