The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
