we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
