So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
