I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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