this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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