No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
