would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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