He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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