Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
