apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
