Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
