Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
