So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
