I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
