If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
