There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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