Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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