i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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